Tina,
It really doesn’t seem all that long ago that I held you in my arms and looked down with wonder at your happy, smiling face. Through the years I’ve watched with pride as you’ve grown from a child into a woman. It’s a journey that I’m honored to have been a part of, a journey that showed me as much about myself as it did about you.
One of the seeming cruelties of life is that parenting is left to the young, because let’s face it, who at twenty knows anything about raising a child?I certainly didn’t. I barely knew what to do with myself during those early years, yet alone what to do with you. I did lots of mistake I know I hurt you several time I grow up with you.
And what a journey! You and I have had some wonderful times together. There has been laughter and tears, joy and sadness, hope and pain, but through it all you have kept moving forward with a smile on your face.
Well, today marks the close of another part of that journey, as you graduate from university and get ready to start job in the fall, and like all endings it leaves me with mixed emotions.the major part of your life thus far will be over. Just as you are both happy and sad that university is ending, I find myself feeling both happy and sad that my little girl is growing up.
It doesn’t seem that long ago that I walked you into the first day of kindergarten, holding your hand, not wanting to let you go. Then rushing home to watch the clock, anxious to get back to school and pick you up, worrying needlessly about you.
There have been many different phases that we’ve gone through together, and I was sitting here this morning thinking about some of them.
- There was the ‘send Tina in through long trip to different world with all scares and wolves in our ways'
- There was the Goodbye and tears in stairs of Mehrabad Airport, I never forget your innocent eyes and ur tears or you begging in plane to return to my parents..I am sorry for all those tough times you went through but maybe one day you believe it it was only for you, for your future to be a free human! to respect yourself as a woman.
- There was the ‘bring Tina to work because I couldn’t leave her alone…
- There was the time you cooked soup for your sick mum …u didnt took skins off from onion and potatos.
- There have been girlfriends, boyfriends, new friends, old friends, and the ‘no longer friends’… Things are ‘hot’ one minute and ‘not’ the next… Sometimes it is hard to keep up! you were my everything, a parents a friend...
There are many others good and bad things, our summer trip to Wales and talking to sheeps and cows! or even hot summers to get tan.
Oh, there have been some challenges too, and I know that you will face many more challenges as you move forward and begin creating a life of your own, but I also know that if you approach those challenges with the same love and courage that you have now, that you will find your way in life and you will be happy.
Whatever you do, do it with all your heart. You are smart enough to do anything you want to do, you just have to make up your mind that you are going to do it. Don’t let anyone beat you down. Don’t settle for second best, you deserve the best of the best.
And now you’re ready to go. You went and grew up. It’s not that you aren’t ready for what’s next, because you are. You astonish me with your grace, your presence, your energy, and how solid you feel emotionally and spiritually.
It’s me. I’m the one who’s not ready. I’m not ready to admit that I’m old enough to have a daughter finishing the college. I’m not happy with myself that I didn’t spend more time with you these past 21years. I’m not ready for you to go.
I wish I could say that I was sending you out into a safer and better world than the one you came into 21 years ago. I don’t know that that’s true.
Whatever is ahead of you, I know you will do it with grace and style. It’s a journey for sure. One that will have its share of struggles and setbacks as well as triumphs and glories . . . or so it will seem at the time. Later, you’ll look back at those events and see that they are simply threads in an ever richer tapestry called your life.
To this point, Dan Millman (from the Way of the Peaceful Warrior) says:
"There is no need to search; achievement leads to nowhere. It makes no difference at all, so just be happy now! Love is the only reality of the world, because it is all One, you see. And the only laws are paradox, humor, and change. There is no problem, never was, and never will be. Release your struggle, let go of your mind, throw away your concerns, and relax into the world. No need to resist life; just do your best. Open your eyes and see that you are far more than you imagine. You are the world, you are the universe; you are yourself and everyone else, too! It’s all the marvelous Play of God. Wake up, regain your humor. Don’t worry, you are already free."
That probably seems like loony advice, but in time, maybe it will make more sense. I’ll add one piece of advice of my own, one you probably won’t take because I know I didn’t. Don’t rush. Don’t strive. All you have is time, and not nearly enough of that.
Someday you too will sit down to write a letter like this to your child. Will you too fill it with wistful thoughts of missed opportunities to spend time, to give attention, to show your love? If I am to be allowed one regret—and I don’t want to think of my life as having anything to regret—it is that I’ve spent so much of my life rushing around in search of things that proved to matter little, while I walked past the things that matter much. Like spending more time with you.
And remember always that I love you, I am there for you when ever you need me. I promise you then that I would always be there for you, that I would always protect you, and that I would never let anything happen to you.You are always in my thoughts. You are always in my heart.
Tina, I’m so proud of all that you have accomplished, all that you have created, and all that you have done with your life so far… I can’t wait to see what the future will hold for you!
Love,
Fariba (MUM)
